he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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