We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
