I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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