Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
