We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
did you just send me my own nude
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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