The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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