Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
