So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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