yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
