apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize