i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
