he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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