My nipple is on Facebook.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
