I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
