I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
