ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
