my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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