PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
