i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
His nipple licking is glorious
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