I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He shit in the fireplace
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
