5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
