..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
