can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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