I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
