guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The ass gains better be worth it
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