If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
