the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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