i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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