im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
