He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
