end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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