mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
