just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
