Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize