how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Mom said you looked used
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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