So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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