tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
