How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
