He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
