Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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