one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
