If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
