Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
