it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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