If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
