He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
