I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
