OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
