Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
