So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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