were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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