Im at strip club and am horny
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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