So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
