Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
