Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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