just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
