Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
