if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
