I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
