gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
