1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
