Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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