I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
