You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
