Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize