Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
